Category Archives: Books

Trying to work this out

I set somebody on a path that rarely ends well. I got them interested in magick.  Magick is the fast food of spirituality at its best and a deep dark hole that one cannot climb out of at its worst. This particular friend has had a string of bad circumstances lately, some his fault, some an overpunishment by the system and some just unlucky. Now, I look at this friend: smart, independent, and things come easy for him. I don’t even think he knows how easy. I see a lot of myself in him except that he’s charming and knows how to make fast friends, whereas I….lack in that area. This friend spent a little time in prison, a little time in rehab, and a little time in a halfway house. He has not always made the best choices. I don’t know how to explain it. He has a good heart and a good head, but makes some really bad choices. I guess that may be the reason I see some of myself in him. In prison, he spent a lot of time in the bible. In the halfway house, he says that he spent a lot of time relying on God. I was thrilled to hear it and though I may not have been as encouraging as I should have been, it lifted me up to think that he had developed a relationship with The Christ while incarcerated. I thought that maybe he would get a handle on things in his life before I got a handle on things in mine. Since, he got out, he has let me know that he has resumed studies into things that people (not all people, but certainly the ones I care about) should not be studying. He has started reading the Keys of Solomon, is rereading Israel Regardie’s The Golden Dawn, and is undertaking Undoing Yourself by Christpher Hyatt. Now, if he was like me, it would be a little bad. If he is reading out of intellectual curiosity, it may have an effect on his spirit, but he wouldn’t be channeling powerful energies, deceptive energies. On the other hand, this guy is a little more proactive than I am. He sees the promise of metaphysical understanding and maybe the promise of bending wills and changing realities and he says, “Why not give it a shot?”. Now, I’m the one who lent him my copy of Golden Dawn nary six years ago. I’m the one that coaches him when he has questions about eradicating ego. I’m the one he comes to when he wants to spitball ideas or get a different interpretation on something he’s read. How do I, after all that, get him to understand that Spiritual Enlightenment best be left to someone else and that (even worse) Invocations of Spirits (and demons?) is a really bad idea. I don’t even think half of it works without years of training, but what about the stuff that does? I sincerely want to tell him to get away from that stuff, and if he won’t, at least have him taught by someone that is more knowledgeable than I. That stuff can be bad for body and soul and though the body is temporary, I hate to see him lose his soul. I know that nobody reads this stuff, but if you do, do you have any suggestions?


Atlas Shrugged and went back to work

In my understanding of Ayn Rand, I have found that she is cold and unforgiving, but at least she is the one thing I really admire in a girl, she’s consistent. I reread the book after about fifteen years and I find that the hero to me is Eddie Willers. In Ayn Rand’s opinion, I believe it would probably be Dagney Taggert. I am astounded at how I’ve changed in fifteen years. Fifteen years ago, I felt that this book represented my world view and what I aspired to be. Today, I find the book represents my world view and I am a complete failure. I have more in common with the demonized moochers and looters than I have with the various heroes of the book. Am I proud of it? No. Am I going to make weak excuses as to the reasons I am this way. Absolutely. I’m Bipolar. I have brain damage. My cortisol levels are low. I’m an alcoholic and of course, my favorite…. I have been sick at various levels on and off since I was fourteen. I have been tired my whole life. Now, here is the negative result of me reading this book. It astounds me that I would put these excuses up for the world to see,  but I know that nobody is going to read this. I’ve gotten various bots posting things but that’s it…. I hereby resolve to quit using my illnesse(For three weeks, it’s been bronchitis) as an excuse to not go off of my medication. Now, those of you in the peanut gallery may be saying, that’s not a good idea. I assure you that if I want to become a productive member of society, I need to go off these meds, so here’s the plan. A)Quit coffee by Saturday, B) Start wheedling back on meds by Monday. C) Keep exercising every day and D) Remember that to be a productive member of society may be the most rebellious thing I could do these days. Freedom in Christ is the only freedom there is. Amen

I threw a book away.

I always respect the first amendment and the freedom to express ideas. I always work hard to explain that Tipper Gore  has the right to protest a record label and it is not censorship. It is an exceptional example of free speech. I was really disappointed when Cop Killer  was taken off the Body Count  album. I completely support Walmart’s right to have an alternative nonexplicit album. The understanding of free speech in this country is convoluted. You have a right to say what you want, when you want, and not have the government interfere when you suffer the natural consequences. There are always consequences for speech. Shouting Fire or boring someone to death with your rambling are both big ones. John Stuart Mill understood these things and I recommend On Liberty  to anyone who can read and think at the same time. On that note, I tried to read a book on Marx by Marxists and suffered through half of the book. I simply do not live in the same reality as these people and they are harder to understand than David Lynch. I tried to read Exploitation. A collection of essays dedicated to the philosophy and production theory of Karl Marx. I read Das Kapital and it was easier than this was. I understand that the people who wrote this are very intelligent. There is no doubt in my mind about that. They are also very wrong. In the grand scheme of things, if I no longer want a book, I deliver it to the library and they sell it to raise funds to buy new books. It’s a system I like. It makes me feel good about getting rid of crap I don’t want in my house. But, I surely do not want a book written by the intelligentsia falling into the hands of a fool who understands just enough to be convinced by these people. I will by no means ask that this book be pulled off of shelves where people can get it. I just won’t be the one to put it there.

Atlas Moves his Feet and Accidentally Drops The Whole Thing.


This thought is incomplete. Atlas Shrugged has been on my mind. I just started rereading it. I haven’t seen the movie, but I heard it was good. When I first started reading it, Clinton was in office…. I shuddered when I felt the book was prophetic. I held Clinton in contempt and the book seemed feasible. Here I am nary twenty years later and I find that Obama resembles the dumb asses in the book. I know not a deep informative analysis of the book, but there it is. I also keep having this image of The Fool Tarot Card except in my head it is Obama that has a dog nipping at his heels, he’s smiling as he looks to the sun and not noticing as he steps off a cliff destroying him but he has a rope connected to America and he’s dragging us with him.

%d bloggers like this: